I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
