no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
