She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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