Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
