Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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