I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
