If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
