Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Randomize
