Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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