i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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