he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Randomize
