he puts the penis in happiness.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
