Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
