i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
