You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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