The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Randomize