32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
