Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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