Jerry, you need to find god
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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