Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i dont even know how to be here
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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