you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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