People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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