im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
