if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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