Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
