why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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