She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
