I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
