and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
