yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
