That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
