ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
