I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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