Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
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I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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