And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
