Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
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