i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
