New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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