That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
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I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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