Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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