he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I supernannyed him into submission
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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