Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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