sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
