There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
