I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
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You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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