You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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