Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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