I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
