Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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