I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
