and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
