Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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