I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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