He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Shame - the story of my life.
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