I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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