Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize