Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
