I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
