YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
