what day is it and did you see me today?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize